Mushy Gooshy Stuff

     Hmm I'm not really sure what I will talk about... So here we go!!

     Well I just read the amazing Curly G's Pimpster Pimp blog and I was utterly delighted. She has captured the Magic Gathering night in vivid detail. Besides the fact that Heather, Tanner, and I had an awkward threesome. I was the Middlesex! Donnie Darko reference... And the fact that Tanner ate about 15 slices of pizza... And how Heather raped his foot... Other than that it's perfect! So go HERE!!! Now! Or after you finish reading my blog... Which may not be as entertaining!

     Now onto being a drama queen!~

     I really hate it when I like guys who are promiscuous players. I really hate it when I like guys who are shy of their own shadow too. Two extremes... But I aaaam extreme like that. I'm also a hopeless romantic of sorts. If you were to ask my friends who truly know me... They'd tell you I'm pretty fanatical about boys. Why is this? I dunno. I remember being five and saying "Mom that college boy is cute!" and evidently I've kissed Nick Humphrey on the knee and elbow in preschool (though I cannot recall this memory...). I HAVE had a crush on him sense preschool though. And they say preschoolers can't crush! Well I can tell you right now that, that assumption is wrong. I STILL feel awkward around him. To this very day. But if by the very, very, VERY slim chance he were to ask me on a date, I'd turn him down.
    
     "But, Ivy! He's such a smokin' hot dude who you've loved all your life! How could you turn down that hunky thang!?"
    
     That's simple. During my adolescent years, I wanted him to be my boyfriend. To simply like me. Even just being my friend would've been okay. But he went around flaunting off his various girlfriends in my FACE. I was so upset about this. He even found out through his friends attempts at humiliating me that my runescape password was "I-Love-Nick." It's funny they even knew to try and hack my runescape account with that password. But he didn't say anything about it! I sat there on the verge of tears, his stupid face staring at me awkwardly. No. I can hold grudges for a very long time, you see. I don't hate him, but I would want him to feel humiliated as I once did.

   Something I really hate is seeing girls taking the whole "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship thing too seriously. Or they take them for granted. Or both. And usually (in most or all the cases) it is the girl's fault. They are the emotionally gucky ones. I mean really dear, you're just looking for all the reasons TOO hate him. There is no perfect male. There is no perfect female. People will just have to deal with that. If I am ever to have a boyfriend in my high school career, I would hope I wouldn't be like that. I mean girls say they hate it when their boyfriends are more like their best friends, but I think that would be a lot better than slobbering all over each other in public. The most I'd ever do in public would be holding hands or hugging.

     Being a girl in general really sucks. Most girls (except for the super cool ones which are my friends. I wouldn't have anything less than cool for friends ;D ) are really bitchy to each other. They like to make other girls feel jealous. I guess it's to make themselves feel good. Or maybe they're just plain evil. I really hate it when I catch myself doing this. It's like bitch is part of our brain coding. Guys are all chill about everything. They don't go psycho over little things and they definitely don't have periods. I often wish I could've been a guy because I think life would've been much easier. They don't have to premp themselves as much without being made fun of either. That would be nice because I am very lazy. Being a nerd would have been more normal too I suppose. I do kind of pride myself on being different. Unfortunately being different IS like the new normal. So it's nothing new.

Anyways I'm done ranting. How about some cool art!? Yeah that sounds good :D The one below is art done by Edward Gorey. He's a self taught artist who focuses on ink. Normally he does disturbing or depressing images which make me happy because they can be so outrageous. I highly recommend his book "The Gorey Alphabet" or something like that. Down right hilarious.

Incest, movies, and art.

     Hello, all you Zombies! No just kidding, that's a short story by Robert Heinlein. But... sense I'm really bad at beginning things such as blogs! I shall start with summarizing this master piece.
     So it begins with a young baby being abandoned by a man on the doorstep of an orphanage. She grows up and gets seduced by an older man in the woods. She then becomes pregnant and has a baby, but during the delivery they find she has male organs inside her! Her female organs are damaged beyond repair so the doctors are forced to make her into a him. Then her day just seems to be getting worse because his-her baby was stolen! Oh noooo!
     Later on the he-she becomes a writer of women diaries and goes to bars a lot. He-she goes to a particular bar where this suspicious bartender seems to know his-her whole life story. It turns out the bartender is actually a time traveler and goes back in time with the he-she to find the man that ruined his-her life. But instead of doing this, he-she falls in love with a girl and seduces her in the woods (see where this is going?). During the time he seduces the girl, the bartender rushes forward in time, steals a baby from a hospital, goes back in time again, and places her at the foot of an orphanage! Then he goes back and finds the he-she to take him-her back to the present time. The bartender then proceeds to sign the he-she up into some military program where he-she will eventually be promoted to a time traveler.
     So it turns out, he-she is his-her own daughter, mother, father, and bartender!!! Ooooh the irony. Really good story though. I highly recommend reading the real thing. It'll blow your mind!

     Lets see... What else? Well recently (two days ago) I watched Tim Burton's first Batman movie. I've heard most people claim that the Christian Bale batman movies are far better. Personally, I believe they are so different that it isn't fair to compare them. Especially seeing as one is much newer than the other. It's like comparing the classic Alfred Hitchcock movie, Psycho to the newer American Psycho. Two totally different things.
     But if I were to follow my dreams and aspirations (which include owning two ferrets named Peeves and Cheese, moving into a movie theater with a sushi bar in France, and becoming a successful artist/graffiti artist/director), I would create an amazing movie about the early life of the Joker and how he met Harley Quinn! It'd be so amazing that it would be beyond the scope of even the Dark Knight! I can already see it in my head actually.
     It could be similar to Rob Zombie's first Halloween movie. Where Michael Myers is a sociopath turned aggressive by his abusive step father and weak mother. The only thing is, he'd be exceptionally smart. One of those conniving students who are just left alone because they can mentally tear anyone apart. A young Hannibal Lector! And super handsome... He'd be your typical brooding teenager but with more edge. Maybe he'd try and join a gang or something and end up beating everyone up. I'm not sure on the details, I just know that the imagery would be fantastic. I'd probably incorporate my own Tim Burton style. Black, dark grays, reds, and whites would be most evident throughout the entire movie. Or maybe I'd begin it with bright colors and slowly make it grow darker. Either way, I can see it as being totally awesome!

   Well I'm pretty excited because I am privileged to have a Magic Gathering this Sunday with my fellow witches and wizards! I especially look forward to having "Gandalf the Gay" over. There shall be so many sorcery and conjuration spells aloof that I won't know what to do with myself! Ah yes, I know... Harness their power to defeat them all! MWAHAHAHAHA. I will be sure to accurately record the event once it is over... Though I will be very displeased that it had to end. Time is only an illusion and we are forced to only go from point A to point B without the ability to go back. I wish I could see to point Z... I bet there would be some crazy shit going on there!!!

     Lastly, before my stomach melts my entire body (with hunger), I would like to introduce an art piece done by none other than Greg Simkins. A fellow art student introduced me to this painting god, and I think it's only fair to spread his genius creations! That sort of sounded like herpes... But it's like super sparkle rainbow herpes!! Well anyways, both the artist and the student himself are great inspirations to me, although I doubt they'll ever be aware of it. I feel bad that I may never speak to the student again, because I really admired him. I fear that maybe I pushed him away, but I'll never be able to tell for sure. Ah well, here it is.